Morbidness

So I couldn't get in the mood to write the next chapter of Ultimatum. Like completely and utterly couldn't. Anyone else ever feel like that? I feel like I have lost the feeling of the story. I went back and looked over a oneshot that I had halfway written, and damn if it isn't way better than the shit I'm writing now. Argh!!!! Makes me hate what I have so far! Should I delete all that I have already written and start over? We'll see. This should help get me back in my groove. The short story felt like a good way to go for writing tonight, so I wrote on that. Yes, I wrote. I actually did. Got a good chunk done. The one shot is not complete yet, but it is getting there. I think I shall finish that next. I'm hoping there isn't a too radical of a difference between when I wrote then and now. I'll definately be editing all this to high heaven, trying to make it perfect. I want more emotion in my stories. I want to be like Stephenie Meyer - that is my new goal. Bones is history... Anyways. The story is depressing and sad to me. Death and old age always are. That should give you an idea of where I am going to go with this. My grandpa passed away recently, and I find that I am fighting tears while writing this right now. Bummer situation. I hate death. In fact, I fear death. For myself, and more so right now for those around me. I hate the feeling of being all alone in the world, and that is what I fear with death. Maybe I should write more about that. That is the emotion most prevalent to me, the one I feel the most. Not joy or happiness. Fear. I stress myself out way too much sometimes. But, they say write what you know. Laurell K Hamilton has an apparent well of anger inside of her, and from that we get Anita Blake. Bones knows bodies - tadah! I must think on this. Maybe it could actually work... Maybe. In the mean time, I need July 1st to come faster so that the next freaking Angel Diary (6) can come out in mass production! Now!! Speed up time!!!!

Tchao for now,
BoxingKing