A Series of Unfortunate Confessions

Confessions 1: Haven't started writing the next chapter yet. Nope. Nada. I kinda know where I want to go, but it's still a meaningless blob in my head.

Confession 2: I don't really like Kurama. Never have. And probably never will in fanfiction. Definately need to buy the show and watch it. Kind of why he's an ass in my fic... he gets stuck with the dirty work. Ah well, someone needs to do it.

Confession 3: Not so much a confession as a wail - No one likes anyone! Argh!!!! I read the reviews (which I love) and I get the feeling that everyone hates who I made the characters into... which depresses me.

I guess I just need to work on a few points, which is what the next chapter is going to have to encompass, cause this sucker is getting close to an ending, and I need you to be confused on who to root for. Maybe.

So, Kagome. I like Kagome how she is. She is giving herself up for the Jewel, which we should have already seen with the attempted suicide. Kikyou handled this burden by becoming cold-hearted and alone - she let no one in. This seems like an adequate way to handle the Jewel, except that Kagome wasn't raised with this burden, she had it thrust upon her, so she is trying to find ways that work for her. She continually opens up to people - Yusuke, Hiei, the group, etc. and gets hurt. She tries different extremes on the spectrum of solutions: suicide or hating/shutting everyone out. She shuts people out so much that she loses who she is through making these sacrifices. She just made another one, so we are gonna have some more self-hate going on here. I know how she is going to get out of this, whether you guys will like the ending or not. I have a good ending. A nice Ultimatum, cause that little one is hardly the big thing.

Now, Yusuke. He's being an ass all around, and undecisive. I think he is entitled to being indecisive - he is having to choose who he gives up amongst people he loves. That is not an easy choice, and something he has trouble dealing with. He is used to saving everyone, not just giving someone up for the sake of another. So, he is struggling in that matter. He is also struggling with betrayal. His family sucks, and in his eyes, Kagome was the only one he had as family, and when she began betraying this image by keeping secrets, fraternizing with the enemy, and breaking his group apart (Hiei), he began to lose his only family. I see this as adequate reasoning why he kind of hates Kagome right now, and is in any part willing to sacrifice her. It's why he is confused, and an ass. I need to portray this better, I think. Although I like how he has turned out.

Kurama: he has played his purpose. I can't say I like him... at all. So he is kind of the evil doer in Kagome's eyes. Although, as a being that has lived centuries as a thief, he knows reality and making tough choices. He has a small group of people he protects, and Keiko is more included in that than Kagome. Therefore, she is null. He also is the most practical of the group right now, since both Hiei and Yusuke are conflicted, so he is kind of forced to be the spokesperson for the group. Bummer that, I guess. But he is stuck. :)

Kuwabara: I like Kuwabara, and am trying to portray him in a good light. He is the most innocent of the group, and he is the most honorable. He wants to save Kagome and Keiko, but can't. Yet, he also understands the necessity of some force and dirty things like that. While he is honorable, he is also human, and wants to save Keiko. I think that is perhaps what this story portrays the most: the human ability to make sacrifices and hard decisions when put into a corner, as these people clearly are. I definately need to show this more, show the struggle. If I could, I would go back and fix this throughout the story, but I'm not doing that much of a heavy edit. Nope, not gonna.

Hiei: Ok, he is the one I am having the most trouble with. I can't say too much, since that would give away my ending, but I want him to be conflicted in what he wants. He wants the Jewel, duh, but he also wants Kagome. He kind of cares for Keiko, but with what has been happening between him and Kagome, he kind of wants her a bit more than Keiko. Natural selection kind of thing. So, he should want Kagome, but not want Kagome - confliction. He needs to be making some serious decisions here in the next chapter.

As to his relationship with Kagome, yeah it is lacking. But I don't know what to do in regards to my ending!!! I need to step them up, but am debating on how to do so. Their physical relationship was one way to bridge this gap, right away. It was supposed to show their budding relationship - or that was the original intention, since I am a perv who just wanted the two together. Unfortunately, my ending has changed, and it has become a bit more complex. So, I am thinking of what to do. I think I must stage a tender moment between the two alone next chapter. Next chapter is definately for building these relationships and characters. Not a chapter I had intended to put in there, but one to be put to good use, of that I am sure. I think once I finalize how to develop all this, then I will write more. Until then,

Adieu!

BoxingKing